I have no regrets about my life decisions. Both men I married had parents and grand parents who lived to age 90 and beyond. These healthy, attractive men died at ages 49 and 56. Who could have predicted it? I was the one who was high risk and here I sit.

People on the news who say they survived whatever calamity because "I was left alive for a reason" make me crazy. Life is random. You can't plan for anything. The electric goes out. The sewer backs up. Trees fall over.
Children grow up and move away.

I have five copies of a living will laced through my files and medical records. I doubt anyone will honor it. I know of two terminal cancer patients who were placed on life support at the hospital my doctor uses. Both had written DNR documents no one looked at. I'm not optimistic about my demise.

But if only Son of Black Cloud would be able to sit by my bed snoring, while they are slamming my chest with jolts of life, i know I would die giggling.