My approach to life is based on the domino effect. If I lay low and don't make a commotion things will go smoothly. Today I was forced to have my '92 Sable inspected. It passed. 28,000 miles in the lifetime of a car doesn't make for problems. When they brought it back to me and I tried to move the seat forward it was stuck. "Oil ?" I opined. "No ma'am. Motor for seat may need replacing."

I could hear the dominos clattering endlessly down their inevitable track. A cat that purred contentedly for 16 years was starting to yowl. The long legged mechanic whacked on the lever a few times and got it to inch forward. If I had my way I would wedge a crowbar in there and be satisfied. But there still is left a state emissions test.

It is all planned out in my head. First I have to explain a super sensitive power steering add on that screeches like a ... um ... smoke alarm when you apply any torque to it. After they set it off they will remember the warning. Then they will get all comfy with their long legs stretched out and when I try to drive away I can't move the seat forward and can't reach the wheel. So I have to be towed.

But wait! Stay in my head. I have AARP towing and my AARP membership has lapsed. Will they come to my rescue?Plus I can't clamber up in a tow truck so I'm stuck at the emissions place with no Sable and no cash. And you can't imagine how inept I am at using a cell phone at my calmest.

So I'm putting off the emissions test until the dominos are in better alignment with my brain cells. It may take awhile.