Post-Polio Awareness Day. In 1949 the outside me became crippled. But inside was the same person born in 1936. It took several years to figure out the outside me wasn't going to get better. People think because you are crippled you are brave and sweet. I knew that wasn't so.

I learned pretty quick to squelch my natural sarcasm and hateful remarks because that wasn't what outsiders wanted to hear from people they felt sorry for. They wanted me to struggle and fail and then they would intervene and feel good about themselves. On the other hand many people are so self involved they don't notice my difficulties.

Black Cloud was this way. One of his classic lines was I lacked "compassion" for him. At the time I was clueless. Had his arms and hands stopped working? Could he not run and jump at will? But now I understand. It's the inside person that can be so damaged they can't go on. The outside person can be patched up and soldier on.

It's hard when I'm happy and I want to fling both arms in the air and snap my fingers. Q does it for me if I ask. Once she and Gary stood behind me and made my arms move like a marionette for a photograph. It was fun.

Today really isn't a post-polio designated awareness day. But every now and then I'll be proclaiming it with a blog entry. And I hope when you read it you will throw your arms up in the air just because you can... and because I can't.