I loved both my mothers-in-law. Black Cloud's mother gave me a full length mink coat and a hat bought in Paris. The weight of the coat pinned my frail arms to my sides so securely I looked like a brown penguin. Cloud's family liked the concept of giving the coats off their backs. Since they retired to Guadalajara Mexico they could lighten up their coat collection and have the personal satisfaction of giving all rolled into one.

I had known Faye 7 years before she mentioned she had received a mastectomy sometime in the past. I knew she used mayonnaise on her hair instead of conditioner. I knew she would chase her sons through the house with a lit cigarette when she got mad. But she wouldn't discuss health issues.

I loved Dan's mom the 20 years we were married and another decade after his death until she died at 93. She too wouldn't give out explanations. Even after her leg was amputated she wouldn't admit to diabetes. When I had to read her mind to buy her personal products she needed she was annoyed. "Just wait," she would glower "Your time's coming."

So the fact my feet and one ankle swelled up like sausages for the first time ever Sunday I won't go into. But just wait.......