When my mom saw me looking in a mirror as a youngster she would say "Vanity, vanity Woman is thy name." Being nearsighted has helped me avoid my reflection in mirrors nowadays. My moment of truth came when Dan got a video camera in the eighties.

The first thing that horrified me was how my head bobbed when I talked. That was before bobble head dolls. Then I noticed how lame I looked opening presents. After seeing that tape I refused all wrapped presents and insisted on tissue covered gift bags. I didn't like how my clothes hung askew. After being videotaped in an outfit it was discarded and never worn again.

I had developed a pose for photos that displayed my best side. I looked over my right shoulder and lifted my chin ever so slightly. Video tapes kept rolling and my fake smile looked phony. So I stayed out of the way of the video camera. I was a good director but lacked star power.

When Q took my picture for this blog much photoshop had to be invoked to whiten my teeth and minimize neck wattles. My life is an open book but when it comes to appearance I want the expurgated image.